from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
