WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
