Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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