Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
