her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
two words: eviction party
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
