What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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