me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
