The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
