great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
