He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
