I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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