It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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