I want to have your abortion
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
