I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
