I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
