Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
