we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize