Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
