I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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