Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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