He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
