This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
