so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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