his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
