idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
high people should be assigned attendants
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
