I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
