What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
