i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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