So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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