Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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