The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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