Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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