If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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