walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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