I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
