This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
