Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
