if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
