We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
