I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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