there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
