your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize