Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
