Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
