you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
