I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
