My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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