: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Is Oprah even human
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
