I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
