brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
