is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
