she was so not down for the gang bang
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
