Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
