Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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