Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
