Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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