No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize