That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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