Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
