My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize