Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize